Impatience.

Long time no type, blah blah usual spiel, I'm talking 'bout tranny stuff this time, and there's nothing you can do about it.

So just enjoy it, it'll be over soon.

Also, quick recap for those who don't know, I've not so recently come out as transgendered. Not much else to explain. If you wanna know more read some posts from here forward. Let's move on.

Generally as a person, I practice patience. In a world where everything is almost instant, patience seems like a humble virtue to hold, but lately I've been growing impatient towards the advancement of my gender issues. I've gone through all the red tape, done all the tests, filled out the forms, done all I can do and all that's left to do is to sit here and wait until my information gets processed.

Now it's not like I sent out the the forms out yesterday, like I said, the whole patience thing, but nothing is testing me so hard than waiting to hear about my gender shit. I just wanna know something, talk to someone, it's not healthy me only being able to think about it on my own to myself all the time. I suppose the only healthy thought that have come from me thinking within myself is the reassurance that I strongly desire to be a girl.

With school being near it's end, things aren't exactly calm in my head. My brain's in overdrive with little to very little sleep. I don't like it. I don't like a lot of what's going on right now, but I've gotta deal with it, it's not like I do anything that warrants me being able to do things I like. Oh yeah did I mention that my emotions are also spazzing out. I'm not sure I'll ever grow out of being a teenager.

It's not like I'm sad all the time, when I'm doing things I'm happy (which I imagine is distracting me from myself) such as working on music and a website with my cousins, more word on that when it's more of a thing, but I'm sad much more often than I should be. But when I do this kinda stuff it kinda just feels like I'm all 'WAH I'M SO SAD EVERYBODY GIVE ME SYMPATHY AND/OR EMPATHY COZ I'M THE LONELIEST EVER BOOHOO WOE IS ME', which I'm not, I cannot stress that enough. I hate that kind of shit and I fear coming across that way, but at times I just need some help, a hug, a cuddle, an ear, just something comforting to help me out.

I suppose I haven't really 'dressed up' in a long time either.

I need to chill out more, but all this crap keeps building up at the back of my mind. Hopefully someone can help me out.

If you read this, I already love you.
Thanks.
Mat.