Some Nights.

Some nights I lye awake, wondering if other people struggle as much as I do to comprehend their own existence.

All I have are questions, one in which I obviously can't answer myself, but right now I question the point of even asking them in the first place. I feel awful and horrid for having to question why I feel so bad for just being. Is it just me naturally going through the stages of dealing with being a tranny, or is this my melancholic pessimistic self? What reason do I have to feel victimised? Why do I even feel victimised?

I'm afraid of my own existence. I accept my mortality and at a base level my being a human, but beyond that, on an emotional level, on a psychological level, I have extreme amount of trouble accepting myself for who I am and how it affects the world around me.

Some nights, much like tonight, I lye awake, struggling to comprehend my own existence.